From Heartbreak to Hellfire: Why You Should Let Yourself Be Angry
We often expect ourselves to gracefully move through the processes of sadness, grief, and even acceptance. But one emotion that doesn’t get nearly enough recognition is anger.
From Heartbreak to Hellfire: Why You Should Let Yourself Be Angry
Relationships can end for a number of reasons, whether through a breakup, a betrayal, or simply someone walking away without explanation. We often expect ourselves to gracefully move through the processes of sadness, grief, and even acceptance. But one emotion that doesn’t get nearly enough recognition is anger.
Anger often feels taboo in the context of love. We’re taught that if we truly loved someone, we shouldn’t ever feel this intense, burning rage when it all falls apart. We’re told to forgive, to move on numbly, and to let go without bitterness. Here’s the HONEST truth, it’s okay to be angry when someone you loved deeply lets you down.
Why Anger Feels So Wrong
Anger, especially after heartbreak, is often seen as a sign of immaturity or bitterness. We’re led to believe that moving on should be peaceful, that we should wish the other person well, regardless of how they hurt us. However, love doesn’t just dissolve into calm acceptance overnight. Sometimes, love morphs into anger because it feels like the only way to keep your heart safe.
Anger is a protective emotion. It arises when we feel wronged, misunderstood, betrayed, or deeply hurt. It’s your mind’s way of saying, “This was unfair, and I didn’t deserve it.” When someone you loved with every part of yourself turns their back, leaves without explanation, or chooses to act as if you never mattered, anger is your soul fighting against the injustice of it all.
You Deserve to Feel It
People might tell you to let go of the anger because it’s toxic or because it will only hurt you. While it’s true that holding onto anger long-term can be damaging, suppressing it is just as harmful. Pretending you’re not angry when your heart is screaming in pain doesn’t lead to healing; it leads to emotional numbness and unresolved grief.
Instead of forcing yourself to feel only sadness or acceptance, give yourself permission to feel angry. Allow yourself to say, “This was unfair,” “I deserved better,” or even, “I hate how you made me feel worthless.” Anger can be a necessary part of reclaiming your self-worth after someone’s actions made you doubt it.
Channeling Your Anger into Healing
Believe it or not, this is a sign of healing. Feeling anger doesn’t mean you have to let it consume you. Write it out, scream into a pillow, go for a long walk, or talk it out with a friend. Turn your anger into art, poetry, or a journal entry. Acknowledge it without judgment.
Eventually, you’ll notice the sharp edges of that anger start to soften. You’ll move from anger to acceptance at your own pace, and that’s okay, but you can’t skip this step. Just like any other emotion, it will come in waves until it’s no longer there. It’s important to understand that anger has a purpose. It reminds you that you deserved better and it pushes you to set boundaries so you won’t be treated that way again.
Forgiveness Isn’t Always Immediate
You don’t have to forgive right away. You don’t have to reach a place of peace immediately. Healing isn’t linear and it’s not always as graceful as some would like. Give yourself time to process every layer of what you’re feeling. One day, forgiveness may come. Or it may not. Either way, it doesn’t diminish the love you gave or the pain you felt.
Honor Your Emotions
You loved deeply and that love deserves recognition, even if it transforms into anger. Honor your feelings as they come. Let yourself be angry when you need to be. It doesn’t make you weak or bitter; it makes you human.
Let your anger have its moment. When it’s ready, it will fade, leaving behind a wiser, stronger version of you – one who knows their worth and refuses to settle for anything less.
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